Is anyone actually any good at this?

No, I guess- but I don’t think that’s the point.

I think that for a very long time, I’ve been taught to distrust my gut. You might have, too, and that’s who this is for.
These future blogs are for people who sleep all day and are awake all night and are too hard on themselves, who beat themselves for their “shortcomings,”
Their practice habits,
Their messiness,
Their inattentiveness,
Whenever they’re angry at someone,
But feel guilty for feeling angry,
They hurt and ignore it,
They use the phrase “I should have” way too much,
They lie,
They’re super bubbly,
But they can’t stay at a party for too long,
They’re lazy,
And overly ambitious at the same time?
They’re told they don’t work hard enough,
Or do enough,
Or make enough,
And that’s all on them.
They don’t want to be like their parents.
They’re empty.
They say “what” a lot.
“But that’s not an actual issue, or anything. I should just be paying attention more.” (There it is.)

This blog is for all of the moments when you’ve questioned what unconditional love even is, and you feel shame and guilt because of it.

You may not know how much of yourself has been lost. It may be all of you, and that is okay.

I’m here to share whatever I am, and I don’t have every answer to myself yet. I can’t figure out what I want, or how I feel, or what I need. Sometimes who I am sucks. Sometimes you do, too. Fuck it. I love you, anyways, and that’s all I really want from this. Let’s come out of this as people who want to love, whatever that means.

So here I am, sharing myself and rooting for you, and I can’t wait to see you, too.

One thought on “Is anyone actually any good at this?

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